June 21, 2025
I've been on vacation for the past couple of weeks now and it's honestly been quite eventful, especially since I constantly hung out with one of my cousins who came to visit from far. In the past, before the antidepressants and therapy, I probably would have remained in my room the entirety of her visit, feeling guilty over the fact that I just decided to stay in because of a "lack of energy" and "laziness". I'm happy that for my 20th birthday I'll finally be able to say that I feel better, that I want to live and enjoy each moment of my life.
June 10, 2025
Finally done with exams, I didn't get outstanding grades but I did pass so I'm satisfied with that. In any other moment of my life I'd probably be crashing out rn for not getting the best of the best, feeling absolutely worthless for getting one decimal less than perfect.
There were times I didn't even care if I understood what I was studying as long as I could memorize it well in enough to get a good result on a test. I shifted my focus when studying this time, from mindlessly memorizing to actually understanding and I honestly had so much fun doing so.
Studying is slowly becoming less of a task and more like something I just want to do for the love of learning. And my grades are becoming just a number and not a measure of my worth as a person.